I am writing these down for R. You can read them or not.

(he is trying to hold their hands)

From when he was 3-years-old…

R: Can I lick the baby?

R: G crying. Oh dear.

While sticking his nose to my butt:
R: I goosed you, Momma.

R: Momma, you no sing! Only sing at church!

R; Momma, I like cleaning. I a good mopper.

During a power outage:
R: [arranging a pretend pizza] I making dinner.
Daddy: How are you going to make dinner with no power?
R: The generator will help.

Coming home from church:
R: Thank you for church, Momma. You’re welcome.

To the dog:
R: Stop spitting up! Only throw up on deck! Now we have to clean it!

In the bathroom:
R: Momma, come see Daddy’s pee pee!

Looking at the cover of Rolling Stone with Mad Men’s Jon Hamm on the cover:
R: That my Daddy?

Holding his cup to mine:
R: Can you cheers me, Momma?

After a tantrum:
Me: You need a tissue, honey.
R: No. I still crying.

R: Daddy, you wanna wear unner-wears with me?

When I put a baby down to put R on my lap:
R: Thank you for holding me, Momma.

While squatting on the grass:
R: I’m pretend pooping.

While we were reading his adoption story:
R: [pointing to his chest] Who gave you that R?

R: You wanna go on a date with me, Momma? You wanna sit on my lap on the motorcycle?

While pointing to Daddy’s chops:
R: Momma, look what Daddy got!

R: Dance like this! It will make you feel better!

At church:
R: Where Jesus?
Me: In heaven.
R: He died?
Me: Yes.
R: We get ‘nother Jesus?

R: I’m so fast.
Me: Yes, and bigger. You’re getting faster and bigger.
R: I just right.

While making a hole in his play-doh:
R: What the hole happened?

R: What is this music?
Me: It the Beastie Boys.
R: I like Yeastie Boys
[Much later, he asked to hear “that children’s music again”. It took me a while to get it.]

Me: Doesn’t underwear feel so good and soft?
R: Yes, underwears feels good on my penis.

R: Yay, I pee-peed in the potty! Can I drink it?

R: I coughed. I need coffee.
[We’re Mormon. We don’t drink coffee. WTHeck?]

Me: What should we pray for?
R: Hot dogs.