Me: “Is that a baby crying?”

Husband: “Um, no, that’s a goose.”

Me: “Is that a baby crying?”

Husband: “Um, no, that’s a hawk.”

Me: “Is that a baby crying?”

Husband: “Um, no, that’s your cell phone. Don’t you know what your cell phone sounds like?”

Me: “Is that a baby crying?”

Husband: “Um, no, that’s my cell phone. I changed my ring tone to sound like a baby crying.”

Pace. Pace. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up.

He puts his hand on the back of my neck. I don’t hear anything else.

A baby-less waterfall hike in the rain with my man = perfect