How does a momma get support for medical challenges without oversharing? When does sharing become oversharing?
The beauty of having more than one child is that I can say, “One of my children was diagnosed with something,” without throwing one of them under the bus. If I had an only child, I wouldn’t be able to say that.
One of my sons recently received some diagnoses. (He is healthy; not to worry!) As a mother, this ranks high on the list of challenges/ priorities/ things about which I want to vent. As a mother, however, protecting my son is my number one priority. Therefore, I (obviously) can’t spill medical business on a public blog.
However, as a mommy blogger, I also know the value in sharing weaknesses. Not only does it help others who might be going through the same challenges, but it also provides a support network for me. Perhaps if my first priority is protecting my son, then my second priority would be advocating for my son. And, sometimes, as a stay-at-home mom who has a vivid online social life, advocating can mean gaining knowledge and strength from other mothers who have been there before me.
How do I do that without oversharing? How do I do that without compromising my son’s privacy?
Reading good old-fashioned books is one way. Privately reaching out to friends who have already shared their children’s situations is another way. Keeping up with appointments is another way. I am doing all that. I am trying to absorb and grieve a little bit too.
But when I open the vault, when I bare my soul online, the outpouring of support that I receive is just true “balm of Gilead”. I wish I could do it this time. But I can’t.
What I will do is share some of the beautiful things that friends have said to me in private, when I opened that vault in a non-blog way.
“You were chosen to be his mother, and he was chosen to be your child. You are equipped for the journey. Even though you may not have all the tools right now or feel up to the task, you can do this.”
“I think it is so important to sit in our sadness for a while so that we can be better equipped to forge ahead. Be assured that God has a plan and although this is news to you, it is not news to him.”
“Do take time to adjust to the new information. You deserve to let yourself be sad, mad, confused, relieved that it isn’t your fault, anything you need.”
“You are his best protector and advocate. The good news is that nothing has actually changed. He is still the same sweet boy.”
“Oversharing” is such a four-letter word. It’s such a bad thing to do, especially if you are a mother, especially if you are a mommy blogger.
“Sharing” is such a beautiful word. Sharing my trials with these friends meant that I received these warm words in return, right when I needed them.