A Valentine’s Chart: He Says, She Hears

Scene: Wife asks husband about an upcoming party/event/concert/thing that she desperately wants to attend, because, after all, she stays home with small children all day. Husband, being a manly lumberjack type who works hard and is introverted, usually prefers to stay home. Like a teenager asking for her parents’ car, Wife thinks hard about the timing and phrasing (casual) of her request.*

“Soooo, reggae tickets are half price at that club. Wanna go for Valentine’s Day? Reggae is totally better than flowers and chocolate. I don’t even like chocolate. You can’t go wrong with reggae.”

Wife holds breath. Wife waits for husband’s response.

 

He says… I hear… Chance of Going to that Thing
“Sure.” The best answer I can expect. There’s no exclamation point though. 99%
“I guess so.” He is agreeing because he loves me and wants to make me happy, but he’d rather be felling a tree. 85% (Although when he read this, he said, “85% seems kind of high.”)
“Uhhh… yeah… whatever.” He is distracted with a chainsaw or potty training kids or can’t actually hear me because he’s under a car, and my chances will decrease after those distractions cease and he remembers what I asked. 50%
“Maybe.” My chances are slim and I might as well hang my head in defeat. However, I can always hold on to the hope that he is tricking me and will buy the tickets as a surprise gift later. 9% (See “High Fidelity” the movie)
“I don’t knoooooooooow.” My chances are slim, but he’s in a good mood and a favor or two might help here. 8%
“Hell no!” Hell no. 1%
Nothing. Just a hard stare. Crickets. 0%

 

* Sorry if this makes my husband sound like my dad. No hate mail, please.

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One thought on “A Valentine’s Chart: He Says, She Hears

  1. Pingback: My Top Ten Posts of 2016, My Least Prolific Year | Okayest Mom

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