Scene: Wife asks husband about an upcoming party/event/concert/thing that she desperately wants to attend, because, after all, she stays home with small children all day. Husband, being a manly lumberjack type who works hard and is introverted, usually prefers to stay home. Like a teenager asking for her parents’ car, Wife thinks hard about the timing and phrasing (casual) of her request.*
“Soooo, reggae tickets are half price at that club. Wanna go for Valentine’s Day? Reggae is totally better than flowers and chocolate. I don’t even like chocolate. You can’t go wrong with reggae.”
Wife holds breath. Wife waits for husband’s response.
| He says… | I hear… | Chance of Going to that Thing |
| “Sure.” | The best answer I can expect. There’s no exclamation point though. | 99% |
| “I guess so.” | He is agreeing because he loves me and wants to make me happy, but he’d rather be felling a tree. | 85% (Although when he read this, he said, “85% seems kind of high.”) |
| “Uhhh… yeah… whatever.” | He is distracted with a chainsaw or potty training kids or can’t actually hear me because he’s under a car, and my chances will decrease after those distractions cease and he remembers what I asked. | 50% |
| “Maybe.” | My chances are slim and I might as well hang my head in defeat. However, I can always hold on to the hope that he is tricking me and will buy the tickets as a surprise gift later. | 9% (See “High Fidelity” the movie) |
| “I don’t knoooooooooow.” | My chances are slim, but he’s in a good mood and a favor or two might help here. | 8% |
| “Hell no!” | Hell no. | 1% |
| Nothing. Just a hard stare. | Crickets. | 0% |
* Sorry if this makes my husband sound like my dad. No hate mail, please.
Okayest Mom 
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