Scene: Wife asks husband about an upcoming party/event/concert/thing that she desperately wants to attend, because, after all, she stays home with small children all day. Husband, being a manly lumberjack type who works hard and is introverted, usually prefers to stay home. Like a teenager asking for her parents’ car, Wife thinks hard about the timing and phrasing (casual) of her request.*
“Soooo, reggae tickets are half price at that club. Wanna go for Valentine’s Day? Reggae is totally better than flowers and chocolate. I don’t even like chocolate. You can’t go wrong with reggae.”
Wife holds breath. Wife waits for husband’s response.
|He says…||I hear…||Chance of Going to that Thing|
|“Sure.”||The best answer I can expect. There’s no exclamation point though.||99%|
|“I guess so.”||He is agreeing because he loves me and wants to make me happy, but he’d rather be felling a tree.||85% (Although when he read this, he said, “85% seems kind of high.”)|
|“Uhhh… yeah… whatever.”||He is distracted with a chainsaw or potty training kids or can’t actually hear me because he’s under a car, and my chances will decrease after those distractions cease and he remembers what I asked.||50%|
|“Maybe.”||My chances are slim and I might as well hang my head in defeat. However, I can always hold on to the hope that he is tricking me and will buy the tickets as a surprise gift later.||9% (See “High Fidelity” the movie)|
|“I don’t knoooooooooow.”||My chances are slim, but he’s in a good mood and a favor or two might help here.||8%|
|“Hell no!”||Hell no.||1%|
|Nothing. Just a hard stare.||Crickets.||0%|
* Sorry if this makes my husband sound like my dad. No hate mail, please.