[Girls Only Please] Anne’s First Lunapads Experience

Readers, please don’t read this if you are squeamish about periods. It’s about <gasp> periods! My friend, Anne, has jumped on the reusable-cloth-pad-bandwagon and she’s never falling off. I asked her to share her story, from the perspective of a first-timer. I think that anyone considering Lunapads would find a first-timer’s story to be valuable. However, Anne has always been <ahem> a little blunt… and she isn’t about to change that, ha! Thank you, Anne!

As you know, Mrs. Okayest Mom is a Lunapads Ambassador.  (You can read about my personal story here.) Being a Lunapads Ambassador means that I DO NOT SELL their products, but I do PROMOTE their products for a personal kick-back. I tell it to you straight, my friends! Enter my code at checkout for 5% off: 515013

Here is Anne’s Story:

When my friend Mrs. Okayest first posted about Lunapads, I read her story and almost immediately went to the website and ordered The Deluxe Starter pack for myself. Ten years ago I would have thought of the potential mess/ hassle/ smell/ leak potential of using cloth pads and balked. After all, how many times have I read about a historical heroine’s stack of cloths for her monthlies (or however they refer to it) and instantly given up any desire to live in an historical era? So why did I decide to try reusable cloth menstrual pads? I may have been a bit on the crunchy side in college. I love nature, and I want to “save the environment” as much as I can: I recycle, reuse, use natural products, shop local and organic. Well, maybe not all the time, but I try. On the other hand, my babies wore disposables. I TRIED cloth diapers, really I did, but they leaked instantly every time. My clothes and Tempurpedic bed could not take it.  After the first week, my husband dutifully ran out for a box of Pampers and we never looked back, despite my lingering guilty conscience (I comforted myself reading that in areas with drought, disposables are the more environmentally friendly option because of the amount of water a washer uses. Just because I don’t live in an area with drought …). So believe me when I say that as much as I do try to be environmentally conscious and deem it a worthy cause, I did not try Lunapads with the Earth’s interests at heart, but with my own, and I’m never looking back.

Mrs. Okayest and Anne, circa 1993

Mrs. Okayest and Anne, circa 1993. Not sure if my perm or her pose is funnier.

Here we reach a divide. I’ve always been very comfortable talking about my body, medical issues, bodily functions, etc. Ask Mrs. Okayest – I taught her how to use tampons when we were in high school together. Therefore, I am going to go into very specific detail about why I was interested in Lunapads. For those of you not interested in the full story, but simply looking for a review of the product, I will ask you one question. Would you rather sit naked on a pillow or a piece of sandpaper? Three further positive points: 1) The ick factor is no more and possibly less than with disposable pads. 2) They do NOT leak any more than disposable pads – ie. right around the wings if you don’t change it often enough. 3) The clean-up is not bad at all, and it means that you aren’t left with a smelly trash can (even the little ones with the lids, like I use, smell bad with used pads and tampons in them). One negative: Once you add the inserts for heavier days, they get a little bulky. For my heaviest days, I have taken to using tampons instead of adding inserts to the pad. For slightly heavy and lighter days, the pad without insert holds quite a lot (and does not feel wet or yucky at all). And I do have VERY heavy heavy days (the largest super absorbency tampon lasts ONE hour), so the pad even without insert could work well for someone without quite so heavy a period.

Now for the full story explaining why I tried Lunapads. I have sensitive skin. Everywhere. And it’s getting more and more sensitive. I’ve always found pads a bit itchy, but in the past few years my reaction has increased to the point that I’ve had a hard time not scratching the exterior vaginal skin raw all through my period. I’ve tried anti-itch cream and medicated wipes, but the relief never lasts long. I do wear tampons, which don’t seem to irritate me the same way, but my period is heavy enough that I always have to have a pad too for at least a couple of days. By the end of each period, I would basically have a severe case of diaper rash in the shape of a pad. I don’t even want to talk about the time I sent my husband out for pads on a trip and he came back with the scented kind. In the middle of the night I had to give up and take the thing off and wrap my underwear with toilet paper until I could go buy unscented ones in the morning. If I’m sensitive to whatever’s in regular pads, I’m downright allergic to scented ones. The worst was on my clitoris. It took a good week and a half at least after my period for my poor clit to recover enough to let my husband near it. My periods already last 8 days. Do the math. This problem was definitely impeding my love life (the fact that my ever-increasing sensitive skin issues extended to latex didn’t help much either, but luckily the alternatives have yet to pose a problem). I spent years simply dreading my period and slathering myself with the previously mentioned creams and wipes. I even tried all the diaper rash ointments. They actually helped more than the anti-itch creams, but I felt so gooey and worried that I had visible moist-looking patches appearing on my pants, that I stopped those. Next, I tried the super-expensive, all organic, natural, dye-free, etc. pads. Well, they were even WORSE! Obviously it wasn’t simply the chemicals in pads that bothered me (I actually now suspect it might have been the adhesive, since I also react badly to bandaids). And they leaked and were stiff and crunchy. This was about the time I saw Mrs. Okayest’s post about Lunapads.

I have now used Lunapads for four months, and what a relief it has been! The soft squishy flannel is even softer and more comfortable than underwear. I no longer have diaper rash for two weeks of every month. And the logistical part of the transition has also not been a problem. I bought one of the large wet bags that they sell on the Lunapads site. Both the pads and the bags come in a variety of cute prints. I chose the pinkish ones, figuring they wouldn’t show stains. That has certainly been true, but they wash so clean that I don’t think the pink was necessary for stain concealment. Mrs. Okayest has said that she has an opaque jar with water  for soaking her used pads in her bathroom and then she dumps the whole thing in the washer. I actually just rinse them out right away in the sink and then put the rinsed wet ones in the wet bag I keep next to the toilet. I’m not easily grossed out and blood doesn’t bother me, so Mrs. Okayest’s method might work better for someone else. I personally was more grossed out by the idea of having a jar with my period blood coloring the water than I am by just rinsing them in the sink. If I’m out I just keep a ziploc bag in my purse, although Lunapads does sell small wet bags too, which I might eventually purchase for a more pleasing asthetic than a ziploc (I do NOT rinse used pads out in the public bathrooms out of courtesy to other people, but instead wait until I get home). I also love that I don’t have the smelly trash can issue I mentioned above, and, in fact, the pads smell much less than regular pads. Maybe it was my personal bad reaction to pads, but I always had a pretty strong yucky smell with the disposables, and now have nearly no smell with the Lunapads. The pads have so far held up well to washing. At the end of my period, I put the wet bag and the pads through the wash and then store the clean pads in the bag between periods. The Deluxe Starter pack (I think that’s the one I got…) has four longer pads and four shorter ones, with both a winged and a straight insert for each (for anyone wondering, the pads have a little elastic band on each end of the pad, and you simply slip the ends of the insert under the bands). Sometimes I need to wash a couple of the shorter ones to get me through a few lingering light days, but, on the whole, it’s about the right number of pads for a whole period. I now shudder with the memory of disposable pads and will never use them again! And now maybe I can once again indulge myself with fantasies of living in historical eras without the “cloths” putting me off… Oh, and I’m saving the environment!

***

Mrs. Okayest says: I absolutely love sharing Lunapads with others! (I mean, sharing ABOUT Lunapads- not actually sharing Lunapads. Eww.) If you want to try them, please use the discount code below, which is linked to ME, and I will get a little kickback from the company for referring you. Win-win. If you are unsure if you want to try them, and you’re local to me, I have UNUSED, NEW samples of the products that I can show you.

What do you think? Would you ever consider reusable pads? Why or why not? I’m curious! I am happy to answer any questions you have!

Enter this code at checkout for 5% off: 515013

***

Fine Print:

-I am not a salesperson. I do not sell any products, and I am not trying to get anyone else to sell any products. However, I am an official “Lunapads Ambassador”, which means that I promote their products. I do receive a straight percentage of each purchase I refer.

-My views expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Lunapads company.

-I am not a doctor and I do not offer medical advice for anyone else’s body other than my own.

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[Girls Only Please] My Personal Lunapads Story

LunapadsWhy I do I use reusable cloth menstrual pads, you may ask? Well, let me tell you!

It started when my fertility doctor suggested that, because of my endometriosis, I stop wearing tampons. (Keep in mind that this was just one doctor’s opinion.) He believed that tampons could exacerbate the symptoms of endometriosis for several reasons. First, we don’t know what causes endometriosis, and adding the chemicals from tampons might not be a good idea. Tampons have some pretty controversial (i.e., toxic) chemicals in them. Second, endometriosis comes with painful cramps, so using my muscles down there to hold in a tampon might worsen the cramps. I had never thought about it before.

Ok, I thought, what do I do now? I had used tampons since I was about 14. Pads were gross and they were for babies. I reluctantly re-taught myself how to use pads. I hated them. It was gross, stinky, uncomfortable, and sweaty. Somehow, I came across the Lunapads site. I had never heard of reusable pads. For the cost of several months’ worth of disposable pads, I got enough reusable pads to last indefinitely.

They were super cute! I loved them. Suddenly, my period seemed a little more fun and a little less gross. They were so cozy. It was a little weird getting used to the whole thing, but I felt weirdly happy about it all. They were a little bulkier, but I got used to it. Now, when I have to wear a disposable pad or a tampon for some reason, I am pretty grouchy.

The Lunapads come in different sizes, shapes, absorbencies, patterns, and colors. Later, after I really got into this way of doing things, I tried the Lunapanties, which are padded underwear that can hold reusable pad inserts. Now I think all underwear should be slightly padded. Come on, let’s be honest, women are messy! The Lunapads company also sell reusable Diva Cups, which are an alternative to tampons.

When my first son arrived (via adoption: no postpartum bleeding from him), I continued to use the Lunapads. I switched to cloth diapers for my son for a little while, and, I must say, reusable pads are WAY easier than cloth diapers. And cloth diapers aren’t too bad, really, but they do have toxic poop on them. At least your Lunapads won’t have that fate. If you use cloth diapers on your child, why on earth wouldn’t you consider cloth pads for yourself?

When my twins arrived a couple of years later (via my body), I had ten weeks of postpartum bleeding. Ten weeks! While these soft flannel pads are much kinder to a postpartum body than disposable pads, I have to admit that particular time in my life was too upside-down for laundry. Unfortunately, I mostly fell off the reusable wagon for a while. Now that things have calmed down a little, I am now (happily) back in the reusable pad saddle.

And my health? I truly believe that quitting tampons has been good for my health. I am not a doctor, and this is *not* medical advice for you, but in my personal down-there life, reusable pads have helped me. I find that my symptoms of endometriosis are more manageable with Lunapads. Just as the doctor predicted, my cramps are somewhat lighter without the tampons. Additionally, I find that I am getting fewer urinary tract infections since I ditched all disposables. It might be a coincidence, but I don’t think so!

***

I have never used my blog to sell promote something before, but I have been so excited about these things for so long and never knew how to talk to people about them. I finally have my chance. If you want to try them, please use the discount code below, which is linked to ME, and I will get a little kickback from the company for referring you. Win-win. If you are unsure if you want to try them, and you’re local to me, I have UNUSED, NEW samples of the products that I can show you.

What do you think? Would you ever consider reusable pads? Why or why not? I’m curious! I am happy to answer any questions you have!

Enter this code at checkout for 5% off: 515013

***

Fine Print:

-I am not a salesperson. I do not sell any products, and I am not trying to get anyone else to sell any products. However, I am an official “Lunapads Ambassador”, which means that I promote their products. I do receive a straight percentage of each purchase I refer.

-My views expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Lunapads company.

-I am not a doctor and I do not offer medical advice for anyone else’s body other than my own.

I am a Lunapads Reusable Menstrual Pads Ambassador (and I have a discount code!)

Okay, people, this is gonna get personal. And maybe gross. And definitely awesome.

If you are a man, especially if you are man who is related to me (brother, uncle, cousin, grandpa…), STOP READING NOW. This is about periods!

If you are a woman, especially if you are a woman who:

  • Has periods
  • Has a daughter
  • Is interested in natural products for her body
  • Is interested in the environment
  • Is interested in saving money
  • Is interested in preparedness
  • Uses cloth diapers on your child
  • Is wondering when in the world did menstrual products become so plastic-y and perfumey

….then please keep reading.

Here goes. I use REUSABLE, WASHABLE MENSTRUAL PADS. Are you totally grossed out? Don’t be.

Lunapads Reusable Menstrual Pads

Purty, huh?

Reusable pads are not nearly as gross as you might think. They are not as much hard work as you might think. And they are cozier than you might think. I’ve been using them for several years now, and I have now become an ambassador to the company Lunapads. This means that I can give you a code for 5% off their products, AND I get a kick-back for referring you. So, yes, for the first time, I am using my blog to sell promote something. I tell the world about something I love, and you and I both win.

The first time I used these reusable pads, I was surprised how much better it felt than plastic pads. It was like the difference between wearing an overly scented garbage bag between your legs and wearing a cozy pair of flannel pajama pants between your legs. I was sold.

Quick FAQs:

  • But how does it work? They are shaped exactly like pads, but instead of adhesive, they have a tiny snap. You wear a base pad, and then change the “inserts” throughout the day. Easy.
  • But how do you, you know, deal with them and wash them? Short answer: You can wash them in the washing machine and dry them in the dryer. You can pre-soak them or not. Long answer: I keep an opaque jar in my bathroom, with a mesh laundry bag in it. I fill it with water and just let the pads soak in there. At the end of the day, I either change the water, or I take the jar down to the washing machine. To wash them, I transfer the mesh laundry bag to the washer, and then the dryer – and I never touch them. I wash the whole bag with my other clothes. It doesn’t get anything gross – I promise! The pads don’t even stain if you soak them like I do.
  • Are they bulky? Yes, they are a little bulkier than plastic disposable pads, because you’re using real cotton instead of plastic to soak stuff up. I personally prefer to wear skirts, dresses, or a long shirt to cover my bum when I am wearing reusable pads.
  • Do they leak? Not any more than any other product. Like any menstrual product, change it!
  • Are you crazy? No. Maybe.

 I have never used my blog to sell promote something before, but I have been so excited about these things for so long and never knew how to talk to people about them. I finally have my chance. If you want to try them, please use the discount code below, which is linked to ME, and I will get a little kickback from the company for referring you. Win-win. If you are unsure if you want to try them, and are local to me, I have UNUSED, NEW samples of the products that I can show you.

What do you think? Would you ever consider reusable pads? Why or why not? I’m curious! I am happy to answer any questions you have!

Enter this code at checkout for 5% off: 515013

 

Fine Print:

-I am not a salesperson. I do not sell any products, and I am not trying to get anyone else to sell any products. However, I am an official “Lunapads Ambassador”, which means that I *promote* their products. I do receive a straight percentage of each purchase I refer.

-The views I expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Lunapads company.

In Loving Memory of Washing Machine, 1990s to November 2013

In Loving Memory of Used Washing MachineUsed Washing Machine died while working hard, surrounded by his longtime partner, Used Dryer. Used Washing Machine was born sometime in the late twentieth century, and was neither modern nor efficient. He was born into a good home, but was later adopted by the Okayest Family of Virginia. They worked him too hard for too many years. He died with a load of twin laundry inside and sadly gunked up the last load with his innards. It was a gruesome death. The Okayest Family was unsuccessful in trying to revive him.

Used Washing Machine enjoyed his early life with the Okayest Family. In the early part of the twenty-first century, Used Washing Machine led a quiet life. He was only used twice each weekend, for one load of darks and one load of whites. In his later life, as the Okayest Family grew, he was expected to perform two to three times each day. He was especially unhappy with the Cloth Diapering Decision of 2010, the Birth of Twins in 2012, the Okayest Family Great Intestinal Apocalypse of 2013, and Potty Training.

Used Washing Machine experienced a major overhaul during his midlife crisis. His owner, Mr. Okayest, once took him outside to determine the cause of the moldy smell. While he enjoyed his first taste of sunshine, he was embarrassed to be taken completely apart and to show his private parts to the whole neighborhood. He retaliated by continuing to emit a moldy smell for the rest of his life.

Used Washing Machine is survived by his longtime partner, Used Dryer. Used Dryer has been repaired many times by Mr. Okayest, and most often lets his thermostat be replaced. In lieu of flowers, Used Dryer is hoping that someone will send him a new partner to be by his side for the rest of his life.

The funeral service will be held at the dump.

Furlough and Food Storage

I swear my walker isn't part of my long-term food storage.

I swear my walker isn’t part of my long-term food storage.

With two mortgages, three kids in diapers, two kids in formula, and six mouths to feed (if you count the 100 pound dog), we now have zero income. No matter what political views you hold, we can all agree that this is a scary time. My husband is a pawn in this political chess game, and that means I am too. And so are my children. While I just felt angry and scared at first, my husband made me fall in love with him all over again when he came home that first unpaid day. He said something so kind and sweet about the situation, but  I can’t type it here because it’s too polarizing. (This blog is my story, so I’m not about to throw Mr. Okayest under the political-view-bus.) Just pretend to swoon and feel better like I did.

Having him home is wonderful. We can stay up late. He can actually finish his homework for once. I have two extra hands’ worth of help in a very hectic day. My day-to-day life is actually much better. There have been times when I have thought that having him home would be invaluable to me… and now is the time to put my money where my mouth is. Except I don’t have any money. How much is his help worth? How long will it be worth that much? The truth is, I just love to have his beautiful face around during the day.

But how do you pay the bills during this time? How do you buy food? I heard that some establishments offered free food to furloughed federal workers (alliteration much?). Jackpot! However, when I looked it up, I realized a few ironic things:

1) Most of the free “food” is alcoholic drinks. Dang.

2) Most of the “free” food is just 10% off with a government ID. How exactly do they expect people to pay for the other 90% with absolutely zero income? Seriously, people!

3) Here is the best one yet:  “Thirty percent off spa packages to furloughed employees.” Umm, if you are going to a spa while unemployed, you have some major problems.

I did find a few that said, “Free food to federal workers. Congressmen will not be served.”

So, really, how will this work? What will become of this one-income family if Mr. Okayest is out of work for weeks? I have no idea. The kids keep us too busy and too tired to have “scheduled” a good sit-down. But immediately I knew two things:

1)      I am so thankful for my food storage.

2)      I can’t believe I just sold my cloth diapers LAST WEEK. Idiot!

I swear I tidied this short-term pantry for the photo.

I swear I tidied this short-term pantry for the photo.

Anyway, as for the food storage, our LDS church has always encouraged every member to be self-sufficient. We are taught to keep as much food storage as is reasonable for our home and family. Ideally, we are to have three months’ worth of regular food in the house, which I call “pantry food” – just  large quantities of what we usually buy and eat. It’s part of the rotation. We’re talking about pasta, tuna, canned veggies. (Ok, ok, and also boxes of Kraft and cans of potted meat… I’m southern, remember?)

In addition to a three months’ supply of short-term food storage, we are also taught to aim for up to a year of what we call “long-term food storage”. This includes survival basics. I call it “under-siege food”. We are talking rice, wheat, beans, oatmeal, dry milk. Stuff that your kids would probably cry about if they had to eat.

Our church does not promote doomsday scenarios or wild schemes you see on NatGeo about building a fortress with spikes and “keeping a box with crushed glass by the door for security” (that’s a Doomsday Prepper quote, folks!).  Instead, we are simply taught to keep food storage for personal emergencies. If the husband were to lose his job or become ill, then at least that family wouldn’t have to buy groceries. What savings they do have could go toward the mortgage. We need to be self-sufficient in an emergency. How would you ever help “thy neighbor” if you can’t even help yourself?

Our church also promotes having three months of your salary in savings, as well as two weeks’ worth of water storage. We follow these guidelines. We always have. I built our food storage over years, proudly canning much of it myself into large #10 cans with oxygen absorbers inside. I have a 72- hour kit packed and ready for each member of my family (including that dang dog), if we were to have to leave the home during any of the natural disasters that have occurred here, including earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, or trees falling. Political chess games require more of a shelter-in-place plan.

I hope someday I can help our family be even more self-sufficient. I hope to grow food. I hope to have chickens and goats. (Hey, a girl can dream, ok? I owned a dog-walking business  in a rural area, which meant that I mostly fed chickens, goats, and horses. I was good at it. I liked it.) It’s hard to do these things with three babies, but someday I will have three sons who can help. The trick will be to start when they are young enough to want to help, but old enough to walk and not put everything in their mouths. I want to tap into that “industry” phase of childhood before it’s too late.

We will be fine. I know how to make emergency flat-bread out of a paste of flour and water and salt. (Although that does sound eerily similar to the recipe for homemade play-doh, now that I think about it.)  I know how to cook without power. I know how to make my family poop in a bucket. I know how to … wait, those last two had nothing to do with furlough, did they?

We will be fine. We don’t have any car payments because my husband is freakin’ MacGyver and can make anything work right. We don’t have any debt other than mortgages and student loans. We have savings. If things get bad, we know how to sell things. And how to market my MacGruber’s skills.

We will be fine. We will not be buying the salmon, avocado, and blueberries on which my sons gorge. We will not be spending any gas money to visit the grandparents on the weekends. We will not be buying balloons or presents for the babies’ first birthday this week. However, we will be relying on our precious food storage and being thankful that we followed the advice of our church.

Now if only I hadn’t sold those cloth diapers. Argh.

***

Notes: I’ve had some inquiries about where to find more information on building your own 72-hour kits. Information on the web is plentiful, but start here: http://www.ready.gov/document/family-supply-list

Here’s a handout I made for a lesson I taught at church: How to make a 72-hr kit

Here is the LDS church’s preparedness page: http://providentliving.org/self-reliance?lang=eng

By the way, I’m not claiming to be any kind of expert on 72-hour kits or anything else. I just really like to try.

Moms Are Not Good for the Environment: An Apology to the Earth

I guess I do bathe them sometimes.

I guess I do bathe them sometimes.

As my dad always says, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions!” Despite my good intentions, since I have become a mom of three, I apparently no longer care about the environment. Well, I do, but you would never know that because of all this naughty stuff I do.

I used to be an environmentalist. I was careful with resources. I have been taking care of this earth since I convinced my parents to start recycling in the early 90s when I was a mere pre-teen.  It was no easy feat to recycle while living on a mountain with no trash-pickup! It required going all the way into the next town to the real dump, and not just to the dumpster in our own little town. We paved the way to the recycling center!

Anyway, sorry, Earth, here’s a list of things I used to never do… but now I do them because I am an Okayest Mom. I am an Okayest Mom who is paving the way to hell – or at least to the landfill – with my good intentions .

Using paper plates sometimes: I swear, I never did this before kids. I never even bought paper plates before! But now, sometimes the dishwasher is just too full. And sometimes I haven’t unloaded it. Also, it already takes me about 20 minutes to clean up after each meal at this stage, because of all the food on the floor and the two high chairs, and sometimes I can’t spare any more minutes that the dishes would …oh, well, nevermind. Excuses.

Using paper napkins: I was raised on cloth napkins. I used them in the first eight years of my marriage. I like them. They were not a big deal. Now they are.

Using ridiculous amounts of paper towels: We go through a Costco-sized pack of paper towels more often than I’d like to admit. With my first son, I wiped the cute little sweet potatoes off my cute little sweet potato’s cheeks with a cute little washcloth and let it dry on the cute little towel rack. No. No more. There is no towel rack big enough to hold all the washcloths I would need to clean these twins. Also, we have a lot of clean-ups that involve things that I don’t want to see on a regular towel.

Using ridiculous amounts of disposable diapers: I used cloth diapers for a short time with my first son. I actually kind of liked it. It wasn’t too bad. Plus, his bum was enormous – and enormously cute – in those things. However, once my twins came, those cloth diapers were out the window. (Or, to be more precise, they were on their way to the consignment sale.) At our peak, when I had three kids in diapers and the twins were doing that pooping-every-hour newborn thing, we used more than 25 disposable diapers per day. To the landfills of the world, I am truly truly sorry.

Using ridiculous amounts of wipes: To all those more-hippie-than-me moms who are using those reusable washcloth wipes or making their own wipes, I salute you. I think.

Wasting gas by driving around to keep a sleeping baby asleep: I would have never ever done this in my pre-mom life. But a parent will do ANYTHING to keep a baby asleep. Tiptoe, stop breathing… you name it, we’ve done it. And so have you! Don’t lie.

Wasting gas by idling the car to keep a sleeping baby asleep: See above. (Funny how I didn’t waste gas back when it was only a dollar per gallon, but now I will willingly waste it at four dollars a gallon when the budget is tight. Go me!)

Not recycling as much as I used to: Okay, for this one, I am super ashamed. It is hard to admit, but sometimes I am too tired or too busy to rinse out the dang yogurt container, and I just throw it away because it’s easier. Seeing other people do that used to make me really angry.

Letting a kid pull out all the wipes, tissues, or toilet paper: If it allows me to shower or make dinner, who am I to stop him? I calculate how much that roll or box cost me, and then I ask myself if the peace is worth that price, and the answer is always yes. The earth might disagree.

Using more propane, oil, or electricity: Turn that heat up, baby! If my kid is waking up with cold hands and feet after being clothed in a long-sleeve onesie, socks, and fleece footed zip-up jammies overnight, then it’s too cold in here. (By the way, that was only one of my kids. I also have one normal one and one who feels like a furnace that has a fever.)

Letting the water run: I will happily let the water run in the sink for 45 minutes to keep my preschooler occupied quietly. Sorry. It’s water therapy, right? Besides, I make up for it by hardly ever bathing my children. And, when I finally do bathe them, all three share the same bath water.  Also, my own showers are super short. As my friend Anne once said, “My shower is only as long as the crib mobile’s song.”

Okayest Mom wants the earth to know that she is SO SORRY. When my kids are in school, I will make it up to you.

Because I will be sleeping, in the dark, all day long, without using any resources.