1) I thought you were gonna take it.
2) I forgot it.
3) I remembered it, but the kids were screaming and I had to skip it.
4) You know I can only take them to an outdoor Redbox location, so I don’t have to unbuckle, lift, and re-buckle three fat children. And there were no outdoor Redboxes anywhere nearby!
5) I swear I actually took it, but when I inserted it, the Redbox said, “This Redbox is full. Please wait until someone rents a movie, or find another location.” Seriously. This is a real message. Then it spit my movie back out.
6) It’s Sunday! I can’t return it without breaking the Sabbath. Wait, if I return it to an outdoor location, then would that still be breaking the Sabbath? We wouldn’t actually be making anyone else work, right?
7) It was truthfully just worth an extra $1.20 for me not to leave the house with the kids today.
Oh well, at least we are watching movies this year, right? That’s worth any price, right? Remember that whole first year of the twins’ life when we didn’t get to watch movies?
Also, would this be a good time to tell you that the public library sent me to a collections agency?